Conversations are the regular between my husband and I.

If I could tell anyone in a relationship one thing that has helped unfathomably it would be this…

Have conversations.

Have conversations about everything. Surface level, deep and thought-provoking, silly and menial, difficult and painful, fun and lighthearted, honest and hard. Have them and have them often.

Don’t stop having them. If you feel you are slipping away from them, have a conversation about that. The enemy will try to drive wedges in your relationship and one of the biggest ways is by stopping conversations. Stopping communication. Stopping connections. If those things stop it would be all to easy to just slowly fade.

In the past 4 months since we made a huge decision, threw caution to the wind, leapt in faith, and uprooted our lives we have had more conversations than I can count. Recently during one of the most impactful ones we both made a discovery, a discovery that was exactly the same about one another.

I don’t even remember how this particular conversation began, or even how it ended, it almost just seems to flow continuously. We talk about the move and check in almost daily on how it is affecting each other, our children, our families, the community, and the other day in a moment we both questioned why we came here.

Was it a calling, was it a nudge we answered, was it for an adventure, was it because doors opened as other ones were slamming shut? Yes to all of those things and more. But in a resounding moment we both said to the other,

“I moved here for you…”

“I did it for you…” “Wait I did it for you…” then a momentary pause followed by slight smiles.

More than we recognized the needs in ourselves to move our family from the only place we have called home we recognized the need in each other first. I am not even sure it was totally intentional either. It was just natural. It developed from years and years of conversations leading up to it. It developed from listening to each other’s desires, wants, fears, anxieties, longings, and struggles. I can not begin to explain all of the reasons we saw in each other the need to leave and make that decision for each other because it was based upon 12 years of marriage and 7 years of dating before that. More conversations that can be placed on paper. More words than the mind can express at one time.

“I did it for you…” selfless words and a selfless act of love that was needed by both and aligned at the same time to the same decision.

Conversations. They will get you there. Not necessarily today or tomorrow, but somewhere in perhaps nearly 20 years you’ll find yourself standing there smiling at one another and realizing that God worked on you both individually and together to lead you to exactly where you are supposed to be standing at the exact moment.

“Wait I did it for you…” and in that moment you realize that yes he did. Yes he did it for me and I for him and that was the perfect purpose of it all.

Dear friend in the midst of a conversation, just keep talking. Don’t ever stop. You may never know the depths of each other the way you should if you do.