It seems lately life has just continued to shift. It’s like when you are standing at the beach right at the edge where the water reaches before it begins to recede. First the sand is slightly firm and steady, then before you know it the sand is wet with refreshing water, next is begins to move under the weight of your feet and you feel the sand literally shift under you. It’s not enough to make you fall it is just enough to make you adjust how you are standing and then it’s firm all over again. I think life is often like that.

The tides and waves are always going to rise and fall, if you are standing there, and here’s the kicker, paying attention, you will find you are standing on sand that shifts continuously. The waves are constantly reshaping the shore line and changing the surface of the beach. They are pulling sand away and pushing it back in just enough to make you have to adjust your stance.

As I wrote in my very first blog post I walked into my office of employment in October of last year and handed them a resignation letter without a plan. Sure, I had thought about it. If you go back and read the blog post titled “I missed you” you’ll get a better glimpse into it, however, I can recap briefly… I was finished with my career at that time in its current state and I just did it. I believed that if I leapt, I would find wings.

I did.

I found freedom and I set off on a cliche journey to “find myself” again.

But wings don’t always take you where you think they will.

I found that I don’t completely know what I want to be when I grow up still. I found that I have a place with writing and sharing. I am not sure what that will ever grow into, if anything, and that is ok because it has proved that I am not scared of the unknown and for that I am grateful.

I found out that I can teach myself to do anything I want to. I built a website with a google search bar. It is nothing fancy and I am sure there are those that will roll their eyes at my considering that an accomplishment but that is outside anything I have ever attempted to do and it now houses my blog and coaching business.

More importantly I found that my family is strong. I found that when it comes to bettering ourselves in whatever means we have each other’s back. Not many husbands would have taken to kindly to their wife, who had been the breadwinner for the last 10 years just walking up and quitting her job. Now let me clarify one thing, it has never mattered to either of us who made more money. Coaching and teaching is a labor of love and those in it do not begin that career to make money. Can you? Yes, in some states with the right timing and all but it is not a highly paid position at the high school level. Oh, and I found that my kids are so resilient. They adjusted to life changing experiences with little to no change in their amazing selves. I learned that we became stronger. We have a stronger marriage and stronger family.

I found that we had time to say yes to things we hadn’t before. I said yes to a marriage retreat for coaches. At first it was a way to spend a weekend alone for a very reasonable price however it was so much more. It was a fellowship with others who get this life and very simply it was more moments and intentional conversations about what we want out of this life. What impact we want to have, what legacy we want to leave. Whose kingdom we want to build. It is not our own by the way. It’s His kingdom. We want to be good stewards of what we are blessed with. We want to leave things to our children that are both tangible and not. We decided that while I leapt and found wings, that they were carrying my back to something for a greater purpose.

My wings are carrying my back to work in the career I left. Remember, I said they don’t always take you where you think they will. I am completely at peace with the decision and for the first time in 10 years of practicing physical therapy I will be going to a job that I feel I chose. Now I “chose” all of the other ones but there was never any other option than to work in the field I studied so it felt forced. This time, after not working for 6 months, searching, growing, I am choosing to do so because of the future we want to build.

Being financially free, giving back with gratitude what is due to His kingdom, and leaving a legacy very different than commonplace in today’s culture are where my wings have carried me.

The sand continues to shift under my feet with the rise and fall of the tide. I see it, I feel it, I am paying attention, I am adjusting my stance. I will say that it is a bit easier with wings though.

So sweet friend standing on the beach of life while those waves keep moving the sand under your feet, know you are not alone. Know that you just need to adjust your stance. Know that even if you leapt and found wings that they may take you somewhere different than you were thinking. They may just take you back to where you were because you just needed to gain some distance to see it more clearly. It is not failure. It is not that you made a wrong decision at all. It’s that you needed to find your why. He needed to show you. He is still showing you. Those wings will carry you other places too when it’s time and you know what the amazing thing is now?

You aren’t afraid to fly.