“Are Parents Santa?”

“Santa does not have a budget, the elves make the toys.”

“Why do you need to see my list to Santa mom?”

“Why do you keep asking me what was on my list?”

“You never answered my question about you know who.”

“I just want to know if he is real, it’s ok if he is not, I just don’t want you to lie to me”

My son Caden is 8 and he has always had what I have considered an “old soul.” Ever since he was little, he just seems to know things, was more empathetic than typical for a kid, and just had a way about him that made him seem older. When he was going to one of his well checkups between the age of 1 and 2 I started to write down all the words he said on a regular-basis because they ask you that, among the million other questions about their development that have you hoping/questioning if your child is progressing the right way because they can’t connect the lines while making a circle, or they can thread a cheerio on a string. I listed over a hundred words and stopped. I knew he met that milestone when I looked at the sheet and they wanted to make sure he said 10 or 20. I can remember him speaking in full sentences like a little adult from an early age.

Now the point is not to brag on his achievements but to simply outline that our “baby” years with Caden seemed short lived. Once he was a toddler, he was pretty much a little man. He is a deep thinker, and imaginative. In fact, he is likely an over-thinker at times, which he acquired quite honestly from me. He is analytical and questions why things work they way they do and how.

With all that said it really should not have been a shock to this mamma’s heart to begin hearing those questions about Santa listed above at the age of 8. My heart though did not feel ready for it all to come out, not because I thought he could not handle it but because it meant the end of something. The end of a sweet magical time was coming. I think he knew it meant the same because he always managed to ask these questions in the car or whenever he was standing next to his 5-year-old sister. I have a feeling his little old soul knew it was over but that I would keep it going if he asked around her.

I have saved those examples of the letters about Santa on a Pinterest board for years. You know the ones that attempt to explain Santa and the magic, or tradition based on St Nick without damaging their spirit. I wasn’t prepared however to have to read them and decide how to tell my son the truth. That is until in the midst of all of those initial questions Caden decided to accept the Lord as his Savior and be baptized at church.

He asked me to go to a meeting at church for kids who wanted to learn more about it. I took him and sat as they talked about what it meant to accept Jesus, be baptized, and commit to living for Him. I watched his “old soul” take notes on the paper. I talked with him after the meeting about if he was doing this just because he thought his dad and I wanted him to, or he thought he was supposed to. I explained how this was his choice and how we had always pointed him in this direction but this was not something that he had to do to please us, or because it was the “thing” to do. See, another thing he inherited from me is a desire to please people and I just wanted to be sure this was not coming from that. He assured me it was not and that he was making this decision on his own. He then spoke with a staff member at the church without me for them to pretty much find out the same thing, to make sure they really understood and were deciding for themselves. They came back and told me he completely understood and was ready. We prayed. We rejoiced. He would be baptized the next Sunday in front of hundreds at church.

The previous “Santa” questions weighed on me throughout the days between the meeting and the baptism. One afternoon when his little sister was not around, I asked him if he still had that question about Santa. That was when he said he wanted to know and us to not lie to him about it. I explained that Santa was based on a man named St. Nicholas who was a Christian man that had plenty and wanted to bless others like Jesus did and gave presents in secret to those less fortunate and that for hundreds of years people have kept this tradition going. I told him that parents are the ones that place the presents under the tree and in the stocking and there is not truly a man who lives with elves in the North Pole and delivers gifts to all the kids in the world in one day. I explained that it helps teach us to believe in things that we cannot see and that while Santa was not a person that his Savior Jesus was in fact real. Santa and Jesus have always been tied together in our home, from Santa bringing 3 gifts because Jesus received 3 gifts to there not being a “nice and naughty list” because Jesus is a gift for everyone and it not based on behavior but belief. So perhaps that eased the transition a bit, but I felt that given his recent salvation it was important for him to know the true difference. He responded that he knew Santa was not real, it just did not add up and that he had been thinking that for quite some time. He also responded that he knew that Jesus was real.

He was baptized knowing the truth of Santa, his Savior, and full meaning of Christmas.

While shopping at the grocery store after our conversation I found a small stuffed Santa with a pocket for a gift card. I bought it and placed in the gift card slot a note. I wrote to Caden that I while I knew it might be a bit sad to find out the truth about Santa I was happy for him to be able to help keep the “magic” going for his sister for a while longer and that I was so proud of who he was and who he was becoming in Christ. Since I gave it to him each night when I tuck him in, he reads that little note and tucks it back into the holder. He says his prayers and sometimes we have deeper conversations. This week it was about spiritual gifts. I am not even sure how it came up but he wanted to know his and after explaining that being a good “gamer” could be a gift it was not really a spiritual one, he decided that his might be being a leader.

My little old soul in an 8- year old’s body knows a lot of things. He knows that there was a season of believing in a jolly man that came down chimneys and left toys, and that the true reason for the season has always in fact been about Jesus who saved him.  

I have shed some tears this Christmas season, some for the loss of Santa, but more for the realization of my child being a true child of God and that while even though he is just 8, he is in many ways wise beyond his years.  

So sweet mama reading this if you too have a little old soul asking questions about that jolly elf, or about our amazing Savior please know that while it is bittersweet to have the “magic” of Christmas fade a bit the power of full belief in Christ and acceptance of what He did for us is always sweet, and never bitter. And please know, my friends, that Christmas may be different from year to year in this world but Christ is always the same and in that we can find purpose.