Today I missed my mom.

For the first time since moving, or should I say leaving the farm to wait in limbo between Alabama, North, and South Carolina at the mercy of all thing’s paperwork, I felt a sting. We went shopping today at a thrift store on the hunt for tea party items for an upcoming event I am helping to host and I picked up some cute outfits for my daughter. I relish in finding things at a bargain, especially kid’s clothes that are so different. I was washing the items and wanted to show them to my mom. This is nothing amazing, nothing hugely sentimental, it’s just something I do. Living close to her I was able to simply walk over, bag in hand and reveal my findings with delight. Now, I was hundreds of miles away and a phone call describing them just wasn’t the same. I cried.

I cried and it was not just for the lack of fashion show I could put on, but it was the first time I let myself miss anything or anyone back home really.

See I have spent the last month being “strong.” I have held it together and told everyone there that it would be ok, and I know that it is, but today holding a denim and tulle pink dress I felt a sting.

I am almost 35, a wife, and a mother to 2 of my own but today I felt like I did that first night in my dorm room at college. I can remember sitting there on that twin bed staring out the window through the box fan that was attempting to keep our non air-conditioned dorm livable and crying. I had never lived anywhere but “home” until that day and while I knew I was about to embark on a big, important, and life changing adventure, I still felt the sting of missing my mom.

So here I am again about to embark on a big, important, and life changing adventure and that same sting is present. I know I am only a drive, phone call, text, and face-time away but still the sting of missing her in the unfamiliar is all too familiar.

Perhaps you are also missing someone in the season of unfamiliar. Perhaps you are even missing someone who is no longer there, prayers my sweet friend, the sting is real, but there is purpose in it.

Maybe it is a reminder of how special people are to us, or how we can grow in the unfamiliar but it is still emotional. Perhaps it is even the reminder that life happens and is built in the simple moments like showing off amazing kid couture at bargain finds. Maybe soon I will get some “portal” viewing device the kids and her were looking at online before we left and it will bridge the gap a bit but for now I will send pictures on my phone and acknowledge the sting of missing her being so close and how special she is.