If I am honest, I don’t love the way our Christmas tree looks this year.

I mean sure, it’s a cute tree, but it’s not the perfectly poised, beautifully decorated trees on my Instagram feed. It is certainly not “Pinterest worthy.”

It’s not 8 feet tall and flocked (yes that is an actual word that means covered with snow.) It does not have burlap and tin farmhouse style ornaments with cotton wreath garland and white sparkling lights. There is not a billowing burlap and white bow with ends draping perfectly down the sides evenly spaced yet positioned as if they “just fell there.”

No, our tree is one that we picked up at Food Lion on a Saturday night after the first Saturday with nothing scheduled on it since July. It is full of colored lights and giant glittery balls that we purchased the same day as most of our ornaments were ruined this September when Hurricane Florence rocked the lives of so many. We were fortunate in the little that we lost. Those colored lights are not evenly spaced and there are dark places in the branches. Even as I sit here typing this an ornament just fell off and hit the ground, but alas, it was a plastic ball so no worries on glass getting in tiny bare-feet. The star on top is a 3D and glittery as well and if I am truthful, I used the ceiling to brace it at the top point so that it does not lean as bad.

No, its not the tree of my newsfeed. It is however the tree of my season.

The tree that my 5 and 7-year old adore. The one they were so excited to pick the ornaments out for in Hobby Lobby that people were staring. Inside voices are not our strong suit. It is the tree that has the star my son spotted at highest possible place on the wall at the store and had to ask a salesperson to climb the massive ladder to retrieve it. It’s the tree that has the handful of precious ornaments I managed to salvage from the flooded box of decorations that were molded in the hurricane. You know the “Babies first Christmas” and the ones for your first child that say year 2, 3, and so forth. Why did I say oldest? Well let’s be honest again, the 2^nd child only had their 1^st year one on there and after that life was so busy I never managed to get it together for her year 2, 3, and so forth. As we hung them I promised Mommy would try and get those together this year. Her frown changed to a smile with that statement.

One branch near the top holds my most cherished ornament. One that reads in dainty print, “Our first Christmas” and holds a picture of myself and my husband on that first, exciting Christmas as newlyweds. If you wind the back it plays “Cannon in D.” On Thanksgiving day when I picked through the wet, molded ornaments I found this one, wiped it down smiling, and wound it up only to find no sweet song. A couple days later when we were decorating the tree my daughter brought that ornament to me holding it ever so carefully because she knows how special it is. I smiled a bit sadly and hung it on a branch. I wound the handle on the back as I took my hand away and again no sound. I went on to hang a couple more giant glittery balls, while rolling my eyes, and suddenly that beautiful little tune came twinkling in. What a sweet sound it was, but not nearly as sweet as their little faces when they heard it.

No I don’t love the colored lights but I love they way their eyes sparkle looking at them

No I don’t love the glittery balls but I love that excitement they had hanging them.

No I don’t love the star on top but I love how they held the bag it was in all the way home and argued about who would put it on the top.

I came to this conclusion after all was said and done and they were asleep in their beds worn out from the excitement. I will have numerous years to have the tree of my news feed. I will be able to perfectly craft a magazine worthy tree in a future season. In this season however, this tree is perfectly imperfect. These times are short and before I know it they won’t have such strong, if any, opinions on the tree décor. I imagine at that time as I sit staring at that wonderful picture worthy tree I will miss this one much more.

So sweet friend who is decorating your tree with colored lights, and homemade ornaments in every color but red and green with tiny hands and barefeet running around while secretly longing for a Instagram worthy tree take a deep breath, close your eyes a moment and appreciate this tree for what it is. A tree in this season of life, a tree you will cherish in your heart not for how it looks but for how it feels.

As always remember that I am reminding you and myself that there is purpose in this season, we just have to seek it.