Sometimes we know things, or we think we do. We think we know the plan. We think we know how things will or should work out.
We make plans, we choose paths, and make our own way, because we have to. The alternative is not doing anything and that is not sage advice.
BUT sometimes we have to surrender to the season of not knowing.
Sometimes we have to say “ok” to the change in our plans.
Sometimes His plans are revealed and the season of not knowing finally makes sense.
Often though before His plans are made evident, He is doing a work within us. He is saying that in order to find His plan and purpose, we have to let go of ours and the idea of having to know. We have to surrender to not knowing what the plans are and accepting that His are coming to fruition.
If you are like me though this is and was not done without kicking and screaming. I want to control it all and know everything right now. I don’t like the uncertainty of things. I am a planner and a doer. BUT I am also His. And if I figured out that if I was going to live into being His and trusting His plans then I had to get used to not knowing.
I had to surrender my desires of control, surrender my wants of knowing, surrender my plans.
For the past year I have not known many things, if I am honest, I have never known many things truly. I may have thought I did but I really did not. Sometime in the last year I stopped trying to know. I stopped trying to plan, I stopped trying to work things out in my time. I surrendered to the season of not knowing.
I controlled what I could control: my attitude, my reactions, my habits, my routines but I let go of controlling the long term.
People would ask things that I used to ask:
Are you building a house still? …“I don’t know.”
Are you going to work in a different job in PT? …“I don’t know.”
Are you going to just stay at home? …”I don’t know.”
Are you going to… “ I don’t know.”
This is not a popular answer mind you. People want to know.
But this is my answer and it is my answer because while I don’t know, He knows.
I will not understand all there is to understand about His plan until He reveals it all but, in the meantime, there is purpose in not knowing.
He is doing a work in me and on my faith and there is great purpose in that.
To my dear friends out there who also don’t know, rest in this, it’s ok not to know.
It’s ok to surrender to not knowing. You don’t have to because He does.
I always had a plan. But every plan I made took a different path. I’ve also heard if you want to to hear God laugh,,tell him your plans. What I have learned is you must be flexible, if you don’t bend … you will break.
My best advice for you is to trust” Love”
Your children’s love, your husbands love ,your parent’s love and most of all God’s love.
He loves you so much he gave his son’s life to save yours.
Trust my love too my darling daughter,
I love you so much,
Even enough….
to let you go.
This is very special. Sometimes I think there is very much a peace to not knowing – as much as ther can be a turmoil! Not knowing gives us more room to grow. You’re gonna grow so much, and look at where you already are! Exciting times are here.
Thank you so much Katie. I agree, growth is for sure on the horizon.