Welcome to the “in between.” This is a unique time of year, the last day of 2018.

I find this “in between” time hard. I know that we often find ourselves in between something throughout the year but today it seems we are all “in between” together.

In between last year’s heartache, joy, and memories and the next year’s hope, goals, and plans.

In between last year’s missed opportunities, accomplishments, and regrets, and the next year’s new beginnings, promises, and wishes.

It is not an easy place to navigate, there is an anticipation in the air, almost a sense of urgency in what is considered often a bit of “down time” at the end of the year.

In effort to take control most people are devising resolutions. Many people are claiming 2019 as “their year.” Many are planning a complete overhaul of their lives.

Honestly many people are going to hit 2019 so hard they are going to knock themselves out.

Here are my humble thoughts on that subject, most of which have been learned through listening to people who have accomplished things I wish to accomplish. “Success leaves clues.”

Perhaps we should not try to change our whole lives at one time. Perhaps that is a set up for failure. Perhaps there is a better way.

Yes, I believe we should set goals.

Yes, I believe it is a good idea to look back and reflect on what we are grateful for, what we did well, and what we would like to see move in more positive direction in the future.

BUT I don’t believe we should try to change so much, so fast that we all burn out by February.

You have been there right? Me too.

Instead of making resolutions based on things that need “fixing” in our lives perhaps we should create some habits that will improve our lives in the areas of our priorities. I just listened to a podcast with two of my favorite mentors speaking on this last week and it has been swirling in my mind since then. They said, “if it is for a fix, it won’t stick.”  Basically, if we are trying to fix “all the things” we are simply focusing on what has been going wrong and that is no way to start the year.

So, let’s create some habits centered around our priorities rather than focusing on everything we feel we have failed at in 2018.

Are you going to make your health a priority? Don’t set a goal for losing weight, create a habit of actually tracking your food and exercise.

How about your marriage? Don’t set a goal to never fight with your spouse, create a habit of controlling YOUR reactions.

Parenting? Don’t set a goal to be the perfect mom (they are a mythical creature anyway,) create habits of intentionality in your time with the kids.

Start with priorities, create habits in those areas, and then…here is the kicker… be consistent.

Will you mess up? Yes

Will you miss a day? Yes

Will you see immediate results? No.

Will you eventually reap the benefit of the “compound effect?” You bet!

If we are consistent over time then each and every little change, each positive habit will build on the last and we will move toward the lives we are aiming for.

2019 is a new year, a new chapter, a new beginning. It holds hope and promise.  Let’s meet the year with excited anticipation of the habits that we are going to create.

Before 2019 starts at midnight consider these definitions of habit and resolution by Webster’s dictionary.

Habit: a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior: an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.

Resolution: the subsidence of a pathological state, something that has resolved, ie “I made a resolution to mend my ways.”   

Which one do you think will carry you further toward the life you want in 2019? Creating a mode of behavior that is something you just do and don’t even think about or focusing on what was a pathological state in 2018…

In this season of the “in between” I will be over here thinking about the habits I will be creating for 2019.

Lastly my friends, know that I am cheering for y’all and hope and pray for nothing but the best for you in the upcoming year and all the “seasons” it will bring.

As always, I will be here finding the purpose in the season and the next. It is there, we just have to seek it.

Happy New Year.